Rationalizing An Affair- part 3 (Writing A New Chapter)

God not only blessed me with a truly loving husband and the miracle of a baby, He also blessed us with a surprise – baby #2! This came just as much of a shock to us because we just knew we would have to repeat infertility treatments if we ever wanted another child. On May 12, 2005 Emily Grace was born.

In October 2010 we got another surprise – #3! We were thrilled and our 2 girls were excited to have a baby brother or sister on the way. Everything seemed to be going as it should with the pregnancy and the due date was July 11, 2011. Because both of our girls were C-Section, it was possible we were looking at a 4th of July baby.

During the month of January, I had developed a cold/sinus infection. I wasn’t getting any relief so I called my OB and he said to come in the next morning and they could give me something prescription strength to help me feel better. The next morning the whole family loaded up to head to the doctor. The girls had been sick as well so we had just planned to take them to the walk-in clinic after my appointment.

When I arrived at the doctor’s office the nurse did the routine check of weight, blood pressure and checking the baby’s heart rate. On a previous appointment they had had trouble finding the heartbeat, but eventually it came through loud and clear. This time, after 15 minutes of not being able to find the heartbeat, two other nurses trying, and finally doing an ultrasound I knew that something had to be wrong. The ultrasound nurse went out to get the doctor. The doctor came in, looked at the monitor, took my hand and said they couldn’t find a heartbeat.

What?! This has to be a mistake! Did I do something? This just couldn’t be happening. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. It felt like I had just been kicked in the stomach. Greg had been sitting in the waiting room with the girls. A nurse tended to the girls while Greg came into the room to be told the news. We just cried and held each other. At this point we didn’t know if it was a boy or girl – all we knew was that our precious baby was gone.

My parents came to take the girls while we were sent straight to the hospital. They would induce labor in hopes to prevent me from going through a D/C. At 16 weeks on January 25, 2011 Isaac Landry was born, but he had already gone on to be with his Heavenly Father. There’s not a day that’s gone by that I haven’t thought of my baby boy. But God has sustained us. He has given us a peace that passes all understanding. But most of all, I have the assurance that I will see Isaac again.

God has blessed me with 2 beautiful daughters. He has given me a husband that truly loves me unconditionally. He’s allowed me to live through different seasons. So far, I’ve had some really beautiful chapters and seasons in my life and at other times, not so beautiful. My prayer has been that God would be able to take it ALL and turn it into something beautiful. God is still growing me. I know that God isn’t finished writing my story and He will bring new and different chapters into my life. We all have a story. I have learned to live each day in anticipation of what the next chapter in my life holds. Do you?

We have added several resources for you on dealing with an affair. These resources can be found on our links on the right side of the page. You can find books, counselors, seminars and articles.

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About freedomunearthed

This is a forum for everyone to come clean-to be who they really are without fear of shame or judgement. This is a safe place for a community of people to share their real life struggles, fears, pain or questions. This is a mix of people's stories, addressing real issue in real ways and some inspirational writings. This is a Christian based blog that welcomes everyone to join and share in the conversation.
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